We Gave Ourselves Permission: An Interview with Tamu Smith
Interviewed by Natasha Rogers
Tamu Smith is a writer, storyteller, and cofounder of @sistasinzion, a social media platform amplifying the voices and lived experiences of Black Latter-day Saints. Through conversation, storytelling, and cultural reflection, her work creates space for honest dialogue about faith, history, race, and personal autonomy within the Church. In this interview, the power of her voice, shaped by friendship, faith, and gospel hip-hop, invites readers toward a more honest and unapologetic way of being.
What first called you to the work you are doing with @sistasinzion? Was there a specific need, moment, or encounter that sparked it? What did that beginning look like?
I was working for Wasatch Woman Magazine, doing an editorial with another girlfriend of mine at the time. And I was like, “We should start a blog.” And my girlfriend was really apprehensive about it. She was basically like, “I don’t want to do anything without the magazine’s permission.” And for me, I was like, “We actually don’t get paid. These are our words, these are our feelings.” I wanted to do something that, for me, felt meaningful, and where I felt like I had autonomy over my voice, over my words, just over myself.
So I asked another friend, Zandra, the other part of @sistasinzion, the cofounder. She was moving at the time, and I wanted to keep in contact with her. And I said, “We should start a blog.” Zandra is 10 years younger than me, and this is when blogging was really new. And she was like, “I don’t want to do that. All people talk about are their kids.” She didn’t have any kids. And I said, “We could talk about whatever you want.” And she was like, “I don’t want it to be super personal, so let’s just talk about our faith.” And I was like, in my grown-up mind, “Faith is extremely personal, but okay.” So we created this space where we could be ourselves.
It was interesting because people would say, “The Church let you do that?” And we’d be like, “No, we didn’t ask.” We gave ourselves permission to be who we are, and a beautiful thing about it is, even the higher-ups within the Church embraced us.
Whenever we would travel or do things and tell people, “Oh, I’m Mormon,” they were just like, “Wait, they have Black Mormons?” Before @sistasinzion, there was not a space where we could be our authentic selves, talk the way we talk with our girlfriends. And so we started our blog, and it just took off faster than we were ready for, and we saw that there was a niche for us just to be who we are, and for people to make room for us. Prior to that, when people would talk about Mormons, and you know, who they were, it was just, you’d see this white lady who had this blonde little bob. And we were just like, no, this is who we are.
And then we got some hate mail.
People were like, “How could you be Mormon? Mormons are so racist, blah, blah, blah, you must hate yourself.” And then we didn’t blog for like, nine months. But people kept coming. I remember one lady, she commented under a blog post where we talked about how sometimes, in the Church, our sacred is so secretive that it’s a turn-off. And the lady was like, “Hey, I really have enjoyed reading you guys. My daughter joined the LDS Church, and she married someone in your temple, and I couldn’t go in, and you gave me language to be able to talk to her, so I could connect with her on a different level. If you’re done, you’re done, I get it. But I just want you to know that it’s not just Mormon people who read your blog.”
How would you describe the heart of @sistasinzion? Why do you think this project resonates with so many people?
I think it resonates with people because we try to be as honest with ourselves and as honest with other people as we can. I’ve been in places in the Church where it’s not a safe place for Black people, and so for me, and this is where some of our brothers and sisters, even some leaders, we kind of butt heads, but my job is not to protect the Church. And with the gospel, I don’t need to protect the gospel. I talk about where I am in the gospel. I talk about what the gospel means to me, about how the gospel is very inclusive, and there’s that sense where people want to protect the Church, and I’m like, we are the Church.
Coming home from Nashville this weekend, I sat next to a guy on the plane who lives in North Carolina. He said, “Where’s home?” And I said, “Utah.” And he just lit up like a firecracker.
He is an alumni at Morehouse College. And he was telling me that Morehouse just put up a painting of Joseph Smith. Morehouse is a historically Black college; he’s on a board or something, and he was like, “I have never seen so many white people on campus ever.” The most he’d ever seen in a day was 10. He told me that they hung an oil painting of Joseph Smith, and so he was like, “I don’t know if you know this, but there’s a time that the LDS church was racist and blah, blah, blah,” he was like, “So I have questions.” And I mean, I tried, as best I could, to answer the questions, but also, what are we doing putting a picture up at Morehouse, saying that Joseph Smith was an abolitionist? When, according to his own words, he wasn’t.
I am, in no way, shape, or form, a person who defends the Church. Like, I am not. I don’t want to be in charge of it. And I’m trying to explain this to this man. I was like, “Yeah, Joseph Smith wasn’t an abolitionist, like our Church wasn’t an abolitionist church.” And he was saying, “Yeah, but this is what you guys are feeding the community.” And I said, “Well, when you say you guys, it’s coming from a specific group in the Church, and from specific pastors that our Church works with, but we definitely are not abolitionists.” Even amongst my friends and me, we differ in opinions on whether or not Joseph Smith should be honored in that way. We definitely have early Black pioneers who could be honored as abolitionists. We have Elijah Abel. We have Samuel and Amanda Chambers. We have Green Flake, Jane Manning, Lynn Hope, Oscar Smith, Hark Wales. We have statues and a monument at This Is The Place Park that tell their stories.
But not Joseph Smith. When he was running for president, he ran on a platform that, you know, Black people should be free, but he also was a segregationist, because he wanted to free us and send us back to Africa. Which would have been fine, but it wasn’t like free them and let them have freedom. He’s like, we’re gonna pay the white man, and buy the Black man from the white man. And, I mean, Joseph Smith did a lot of stuff that I really can appreciate. I also know that Joseph Smith gave his horse to a Black man so that he could sell it to buy his daughter or sister out of slavery. Those are the stories that I know, and I think that those stories stand on their own. And so if you’re going to put a painting up of him, use those stories.
And I mean, this man was like, “You know, why does your Church need to be every place?” And I was like, “I don’t know, sir, ask me nothing.” And so I just think @sistasinzion resonates with people because we’re willing to acknowledge some of the Church hurt that people experience and also explain why we stay. And I think that a lot of times, people are not used to that type of honesty, like, really being able to sit with people who are on the margins, whether they feel like they’re a part of the Church, or they’ve decided to step away.
Do you have other current projects, jobs, or roles?
I’m waiting for the Elijah Abel television series to come out. Being involved with a project like this and working with Mauli Bonner, having a voice in what the project looks like, helping with production, and contributing to the storytelling has been meaningful. Now I’m just waiting to see it come to life.
This series highlights and tells the unknown stories of African American people in the Church. When you look at the Church’s foundation, most people do not realize that within a year of its organization, Black members had already joined. Black and white members were present at the genesis. After Joseph died and Brigham Young took leadership, things changed for Black Saints, especially in Utah.
Other work I have been involved in within Church and community spaces includes strategic marketing. Ultimately, I am simply trying to help maintain space for all of God’s children.
Looking back at your work so far, what moments, projects, or experiences have been the most meaningful to you?
I’ve had the opportunity to work on many different projects and initiatives, which makes that question feel a little unfair.
Of course, @sistasinzion is among the most meaningful. It created a space where I feel heard, seen, and able to be fully myself. That matters to me. Being in spaces where I do not have to shrink or edit my voice has been extremely significant.
What has been the biggest challenge or obstacle in your work so far?
In the Church, there are many ebbs and flows. Some of the spaces I have been in have been a blessing, and some have been extremely painful.
I have worked on projects that deeply resonate with people. When I travel, someone will say, “You did such an amazing job on that project.” And I do not always know what came across for them, because I have not been able to go back and watch. The work itself was painful.
That is something I would want people to understand. Maybe even extend more grace to leaders, because this is their life’s work. They do not typically share their heartbreak. Sometimes what you see produced is made with someone’s blood, sweat, and tears.
For example, I was once scheduled to speak at an event. The morning of, I woke up to several missed calls and messages that my cousin had been killed. I knew that if I told the Saints what had happened, they would have gathered around me. They would have supported me. They would have succored me. But I also knew there was someone in that audience who came to hear the message I had prepared.
I had to make a choice: Is this going to be about me, or is it about the message God placed on my heart?
Sometimes, just showing up costs something that many people never see.
There are projects I have spent months, even years, working on that I have not been able to go back and enjoy.
What are you excited and passionate about right now?
I get excited about a lot of things. I am generally optimistic about life.
One thing anyone who knows me understands is that I love the scriptures. I love reading them and finding connections between what I am reading and what I am living. There are times when I get caught up in what is happening in the Church or in the world, but the scriptures are where I have ownership. I have ownership of my testimony. I do not have to agree with every Church leader to know what I believe. I get to have my own relationship with Christ.
That autonomy is what first drew me to the gospel. As a child, I was given space to develop my own relationship with Christ and with my Heavenly Father. That personal connection still excites me.
Gospel music also brings me joy. It pulls me out of heaviness. I am not musically inclined, but I know gospel music. Lately, I have been especially drawn to gospel hip-hop. I try to get my kids into it, and they are completely over it.
I listen to “God Showing Out” by Pastor Mike Jr. every single morning. It centers me. One of my dreams is to DJ a youth Church dance and play nothing but gospel.
I grew up Pentecostal, and even after I joined the Church, some of my family would call this kind of gospel music secular. I love the old-school sound, but this newer gospel is powerful.
I am passionate about Christ. I am passionate about people feeling His love.
Some people describe Him as a still, small voice. For me, sometimes He sounds like rhythm and bass. For me, sometimes He is loud and urban.
*Listen to the full interview: shows.acast.com/exponentii
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